may contain explicit lyrics.

Not helpful in flirting personality trait:

2008-05-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

I totally identify with this comic.

nataliedee.com

Hmmm...

2008-04-29T14:08:00.000-07:00

Is it okay that I still want to be a paleontologist?

This is a true story...

2008-03-20T13:48:00.000-07:00

So you know those cheesy Relief Society object lessons? Yeah, I had one and it goes a little something like this:

My turn signals have not been working since I've been home from Arizona, which was approximately one month ago. I haven't really had time to figure out what was wrong, plus I was worried it was just one more thing I couldn't afford to fix on my car so I have been avoiding it.

Tim checked my fuses on Tuesday to see if that was the problem, and he figured out that the fuses were good. This conclusion would lead one to believe that the car is dying, or has some crazy electrical problem. So this worried me.

Wednesday night, I was on the phone on my way to my Temple shift, flicking my turn signals out of habit. As I turned my blinker to turn into the Temple parking lot, my blinkers started working! Okay...this was a miracle to me. I started screaming, and then I started crying, felt stupid, but kept crying.

Lesson Learned: Heavenly Father knows me, and cares about the small stuff. Also when we do what we're supposed to He takes care of us. And a lot of other things too, but I can't spoon feed you everything. I mean come on.

What time is it?

2008-03-14T22:55:00.000-07:00

yeah, it's 2am.

I like these...

2008-02-20T13:22:00.000-08:00

nataliedee.com

nataliedee.com

nataliedee.com

nataliedee.com

A do do do, a dah dah dah, is all I want to say to you...

2008-02-12T14:14:00.000-08:00

I should be catching up with homework, but I'm not. I should wake up early to go running because I want to to that, but I don't. I should return phone calls more promptly, but I won't. I should care more about some things, but I don't. I should take the T, the bus, and other forms of public transit, but I don't want to. I should believe in the good things too, but...I'm trying. I should choose not to indulge in retail therapy, but I do anyway. I should drink more water, but I don't. I should drink a lot less diet coke, but I'll never. I should wash my hair more, but why? I should clean out my car, but I'll continue to put that off. I shouldn't hate that I just ate 6 fig newtons, but I do. I should recognize the talents I've been given instead of envying those of others, but I don't. I should believe more in myself, but...I hope to. I should stop daydreaming and get back to work, but...I won't.

Just a few things I'm grateful for today...

2008-01-30T10:51:00.000-08:00

A. Snowboarding.

B. Sleeping through the whole night. Seriously I woke up in the same position as I went to sleep. Amazing. Never happens. When I checked the clock expecting to see 4am, I saw 8am. I couldn't help but smile and then the song "all through the night..." (Cyndi Lauper) started running through my head. I like sleep.

C. The Priesthood. So because of said glorious snowboarding, my knee has been a little overworked and really swollen since Saturday. I got a blessing last night, after a long day of puffily hobbling everywhere. This morning I can hardly tell there was anything wrong. My knee is nearly back to normal. I like Heavenly Father, and the boys who hold the priesthood.

D. Gchat. When live just can't wait until I go to lunch or get off work so I can make a phone call, there is gchat, the life saver. I like King Google.

Memories from the days of small shows in the basement of the Barf and Spill (Bar and Grill):

2008-01-23T13:08:00.000-08:00

I've been on an itunes binge for my musical roots. Most of the bands that I used to LOVE in high school were, how do I say...not really conducive to the spirit. I basically purged my entire music collection pre and post mission of some of my favorite music. Well...I guess I shouldn't be happily restocking my computer with said non-spiritual tunes, but I'm keeping it to my very favorite songs and the songs that are uplifting to me.

Oh the memories are flooding in, mostly good, which makes me happy. It's interesting to me how much music can influence our lives. I have experienced some pretty joyful influence from the following bands from my past:

I love face to face, I listened to the album "Don't Turn Away" incessantly for about 6 months.

I LOVE The Offspring's "Ignition" album. Oh so good, this acoustic version of dirty magic is awesome!

And of course the Beasties. I can't properly express my love for the Beastie Boys. "So What'cha Want," enough said. I still secretly want to marry Adam Horovitz.

2008-01-15T12:08:00.001-08:00

I hate finals. The end.

New Year, New Life

2008-01-01T09:54:00.001-08:00

In the last couple of weeks I have had some epiphanies that will give me a new plan, and change this up a bit. I'm a little nervous, but excited to move forward.

Epiff #1

I'm going to promptly finish my BA so that I can get a teaching certificate in order to teach elementary school. Brought on by a brief conversation with Heavenly Father in the temple a little before Christmas. Merry Christmas Rachel, you have direction in your life.

Epiff #2

Along with the said prompt finish of school comes with the necessity of time to study and such. After some thought, and serious P & F I have decided to quit my job at the salon (the end of January) and go to school full time. Eek!! This means I will only be doing hair out of my house, and only when I have time. This is a big deal for me. PS-Eclipse doesn't know about this, so please don't mention it to my boss. But I feel really good about this. Bring on the student loans!

That's it, I have purpose. More importantly I feel like I'm really in the hands of God, and that He really is listening to me, even over the small stuff. It's pretty nice. Yea!

Fasten Your Seatbelts...

2007-12-17T18:53:00.000-08:00

Warning: The following blog contains serious ponderings.

Lately I've been wondering what happens in the meantime. Do you know what I mean? What did Joseph Smith do after he had the first vision and had to wait another four years before anything else happened (I'm pretty sure that's accurate)? What did Samuel the Lamanite do after he preached up on that wall, he told everyone what was going to happen, he knew it, but what did he do after that, did he ever waver? What was Noah thinking every time he fastening another board onto that ark when he had no evidence other than what he knew was right? What was Joseph of Egypt thinking while he sat rotting in prison when he knew that he was promised amazing things?

Maybe this is too much of me on a blog, I don't expect comments. I'm pretty sure J. Huelay is the only one who still reads my blog anyhow.

I guess what I'm thinking is, I bet it was really tough for those guys. Actually for any of the prophets, and anyone that knows something when they can't see what they know they know, and they have to wait. It really makes me feel for them, and love them more, and want to know them. That is faith. Building the ark. Testifying of what you know, even if it seems crazy. Telling people they need to repent while they chuck spears at you. Believing that God hasn't abandoned you even though things look incredibly bleak. I want that kind of faith.

I would like to dedicate this Vlog to Miss J. Hulet, who feels that I should blog more often...

2007-12-12T09:39:00.000-08:00

Things I've Done Today That Are Good For Me

2007-11-29T11:42:00.001-08:00

1) I woke up early specifically to read my scriptures, woot!

2) Instead of a pastry from Starbucks I got fruit.

3) I'm drinking more water.

4) I'm drinking my Diet Coke out of a straw to save my teeth.

5) I'm skipping class, just because I want to.

That's pretty good so far. I'm proud to call me myself today.

Confession #2

2007-11-20T13:44:00.000-08:00

I think I need to take Cyber Stalking: How To's and Don'ts; Sec. 1034 by Professor J. Hulet.

Confession...

2007-11-15T16:04:00.000-08:00

I have a new addiction to gambling...well kind of. Every once in a while I'll buy a scratch ticket from 7 eleven. I don't really win, except when I get my tickets from the lucky Jamaicans, with a friendly "good lucky honey." It's pretty fun.

Things Are So Easy When You're Jumping on a Trampoline.

2007-11-01T15:31:00.000-07:00

When I was in preschool I lived in Bountiful, Utah on a street named Center. I would frequent the neighborhood park we affectionately termed "rocket park," because of the gigantic (at least it was when I was little) rocket structure amid the sand and swings.
My best friend was Jason Stemblick. We would build grass and twig dams in the gutter, jump on his trampoline, eat circus peanuts (for those who don't know what those are, they are disgusting orange colored fluffy candy, kind of like solid cotton candy), and I would sneak to his house to watch Mr. Rogers (my mom didn't like us watching it). We would play "G-Force," which was a kick ace cartoon back in my day, and build cities in the sandbox. Jason Stemblick and I were in love. It was pure, innocent, and awesome.
I'm going to Google him.

OPERAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

2007-10-10T13:42:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited, I've always wanted to do this since I was about 12 years old, it's like I'm crossing into the adult world or something. I have become a subscriber to the opera...two tickets for the season (three operas). I bought two tickets in anticipation of taking someone with me, I'm looking to take those in the male gender category, kind of like a dates. The thing is, I love the opera and it's far too romantic to take one of my girls (sorry ladies), I also enjoy the company of men and would like to hang out with them more in a romantic atmosphere...so there you have it. Now I just need to figure out who to take, I'm open for suggestions. The first one is October 23rd, Ainadamar.

"Inspired by the life and work of Spanish poet and playwright Federico García Lorca, Ainadamar is a mystical and poetic meditation on loss, memory, revolution, and exile."

Huzzah!

Thanks to Mary, another successful blog post...

2007-10-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

Oh, how I am so her...except that I don't play the pianoforte...and don't want to marry a dude who's loads older than me.

I yanked another blog post to fill my own...

2007-10-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) Cali Cherokee
YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) cookies and cream chocolate chip
YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME (last letter alone & capitalized): Rache L
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) Black Pug
YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) no middle SLC
YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the 1st 3 letters of your last name, 1st 2 letters of first) Coora -I'm going by this name from now on.
SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) The blue diet coke
NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers) Clifford LeRoy - my favorite so far!
EXOTIC NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy) Sexy grafiti hot talmales -what?!
WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ) Renee Duane
TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) Baldree Burningham
SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower) Autumn Tulip
CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”) Blackberry Flatie -hah!!
HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) Smart Start Pine Tree
YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”) The Running Blizzard Tour

To All You Veggies Out There.

2007-09-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

Ahh my childhood, which I've been mourning lately...readers will have to endure my nostalgic walk down memory lane.

Charles

2007-09-13T08:59:00.000-07:00

The river that makes me feel like I'm home. Running at dusk along the banks, priceless. The most romantic thing you can possible do in Boston, the gondola tour. I have to say I was a little jealous of the doting couple gliding along the creeping blue in their personal lantern lit gondola sheltered by hanging branches...sigh.

http://www.bostongondolas.com/index.htm

When I finally have a boy who wants to ask me...you know, tell him that I want him to ask me on a gondola. Boston or Venice will be fine.

Okay last time, I promise...

2007-09-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

Inspired by darling Natalie, and her flashback posts and also the fact that she asked about my scar last night, I've decided to once and for all tell the story that I thought everyone I knew knew.

I was nineteen and a half, and loads tougher than I am now (did not wax my eyebrows etc.). I was a blue belt in Tae Kwon Do and I loved it. I went to the Utah Summer Games twice to compete, although I wasn't the best, I did okay for my age/gender group. I was friends with my instructor and therefore got away with wearing black pants instead of white, a privilege only offered to those who have achieved black belt status. A very different but good part of me.

Okay, the story: In class one fateful night we were working on our "flying side kicks" whilst breaking boards. The class created a circular line wrapping around the room stopping about 10 feet from the two dudes holding the board on either side, giving us just enough room to gain momentum, jump and kick through the board. Well, we all had our turn, we all made it through the board...eventually, but our instructor thought our jumps were sloppy, he wanted us to "get a little more air." So a plan was set in motion, the smaller kids in class would sit on their knees, balled up on the floor just before the board. The line kept moving, we all had our turn. Another kid was adding in the mix, then another. So we had three kids balled up on the ground to jump over whilst doing the said flying side kick whilst breaking the board. Well...I ran, I jumped, I kicked, I broke the board, and when I landed on my left leg my knee broke too. Actually it was my ACL that tore, a fact I didn't really find out until a substantially later date during a knee rotation test at the Park City ski resort while trying to get my employee season pass. But as I was preparing for a mish and didn't want to waste time in recovery, I didn't have surgery until after the mission, approximately 3 years later. That's why I have a beautiful scar on my knee, to remind me that I used to be able to kick some trash.

Kind of like this.

And that is my one super glory story. Thanks. The End.

Pencil Bouquet

2007-09-04T09:52:00.000-07:00

I love the fall. I love the cool, crisp air. I love the new clothes lines. I love the change in the leaves. I love the new people, including all the new available boys at church.
I love school. I love going to staples and getting new pens and highlighters. I love the search for the perfect one to five subject notebook. I love paying an exorbitant amount of money on books that I will only read a little over half of and then sell back for 1/112th the cost of what I paid for them. Love it.

Sigh.

It's finally here.

no explanation necessary...

2007-08-25T10:42:00.000-07:00

Me, Meeee, Meeeah!!!

2007-08-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

So, this tag disease thing is going around and although I object, I've decided to submit, as I have nothing to blog about right now and I was gently coaxed by a friend using circa 1992 slang. And since I feel that updating with mindless drivel is better than not blogging for, oh I don't know...5 months, like this guy I know...I'll call him S. Wood, no Seth W. And since I've really liked all the tags I've read...I'm doing it.

Jobs that I've had:

loads.
favs:
Brigthton Ski Resort-Utah
Togwotee Lodge-Wyoming
Art Dekko Crew for LDS Temples-Anchorage Alaska, Newport Beach California
Su Casa Mexican Restaurant-my alternate family for more years than I'm willing to admit-B town Utah
Mad Science-Love/hate relationship actually-Boston
Eclipse Salon-who else gets to have gay men play dress up with them at work?-Boston

Movies I Can Watch A Million Times:

Romeo + Julie-The Baz Luhrmann version, gosh I love it!!
Moulin Rouge-Also the Baz, also so good I want to sew it to my heart and use it as a pace maker.
Legally Blonde-don't ask me why.
Garden State-although I'm not watching it anymore, if I put the soundtrack in my car I will end up listening to it incessantly for 2 months.
Hamlet-the Kenneth Branah/Kate Winslet version...sigh.
Batman Begins-or any other comic book movie really.
okay the list could go on and on...

Places I've lived:

Utah
Idaho
Virginia
New Jersey...I know.
San Diego
Newport Beach
Wyoming
Boston

Shows I Watch:

I don't really watch TV, but if I did I would watch Conan O'Brien all the days long.

Places I've Been to Visit:

Yellowstone-so, so many times...but still love it.
Ecuador
Canada
Most of the States on the edges, who needs the middle (except for Texas of course)

Favorite Foods:

My Mom's Christmas Tree Bread
Mexican, Indian, Thai, Greek, etc.
Anything spicy, as some of you know how important this is to me.
Deluca's cranberry chicken salad sandwich.

Websites I Visit:

The essentials: gmail, google, blogs
Amazon
BBC
Volcano observatory link page-http://www.geo.mtu.edu/volcanoes/links/observatories.html
I'm feeling a bit vulnerable right now.

Things I Want to Do:

Everything that doesn't involve me and heights.

People I would like to play kissing tag with...

Well...I have to leave something to the imagination don't I?

Bored yet? Yeah, me too.

Universe Calling...

2007-08-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday mid-morning I was walking to work, minding my own business, looking down at my dirty sunglasses and listening to my ipod enjoying what would most definitely be a lovely day. Suddenly, a murderous vine reached out from it's backyard home and bit me on my lower lip, the vicious thorny teeth drawing blood. Appalled at the ferocious nature of what I would have previously believed to be a mild natured living green thing, I quickened my pace without looking back, thinking that said vine could possibly be staring at it's now unreachable victim.

Only slightly shaken, but laughing to myself as I nursed my ridiculous wound obtained whilst walking in a perfectly normal urban situation, I asked the question: why do silly things like this happen to me? I pondered all the way to work, with the salty blood taste in my mouth and a throbbing pout. I tried to recall everything I knew about Little Shop of Horrors, which was entirely unhelpful since I know nothing about the play except a plant eats people-not comforting. Am I destined to become Flora brunch? Will I be granted safe passage next time? Either way I determined not to exact revenge on the way home as I would be passing the same way, I would just steer clear-who knows what plants are capable these days...I mean, do they communicate? Can they organize?

But then...light bulb! I figured it out...I told the Universe I wanted a Vampirian love affair, and the Universe returned in kind with a kiss from a bloodsucking vine.

Lesson Learned: Be careful what you wish for. I still want a Vampire boyfriend.

Delicious.

2007-08-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

I want a Vampire boyfriend.

Out of Service.

2007-08-04T10:20:00.000-07:00

I have lost my will to blog...

sooo good...

2007-07-23T09:03:00.001-07:00

This is one of my favorite ads from the 80's drug free campaign. Enjoy.

I love the Darth Vader version...nerds unite!

Praying Works

2007-07-19T17:56:00.001-07:00

I got a job today!!! One that will make my life infinitely easier in many ways. Huzzah!!

p.s.-I will still be doing hair.

Fortune Cookie Widom Part II

2007-07-15T21:26:00.000-07:00

"Deep faith eliminates fear."

These fortune writers are inspired. I've really been trying to dig deep in the faith department, it's funny how you think you have faith until you have to really use it...I mean really use it. I would have to say that fear is the single most debilitating factor in my life, sometimes I wonder how many light years ahead I would be if I could just let go of my fears and have faith that my life is truly in good hands.

Note to self: Stop being so afraid. You...are...strong...enough...for the good and bad.

Glacial and Preiglacial Processes and Landforms...

2007-07-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

I want may summer classes to be over with.

Discovery: A grande light vanilla bean cream frappuccino is only 160 calories, and is a fabulous mid hot day pick me up.

Yeah, It's That Good...

2007-07-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

I love Diet Coke. I mean not only is it delicious, but just look at this clever advertising...it makes me want to drink more.

I want to sip Diet Coke with a boy.

Diet Coke makes things happen.

Diet Coke makes you feel super duper awesome.

Sooo Good.

Danger Third Rail

2007-06-25T19:58:00.000-07:00

So lately I haven't been feeling much like blogging. I think sometimes when you when you are yourself on your blog you get burned...but I'm a the-plate-is-hot-and-I-still-touch-it kind of girl. I have this thing about being myself, I just have to be. And this is my blog anyway.

My filter is out or otherwise preoccupied right now, but if you would like to leave a message at the beep...

Here is a summation of some of my mindless drivel/thoughts of late: I have always driven a standard transmission, and I've become a pretty good multi-tasker in the car, including changing my clothes. I acquired the skills of changing my clothes while driving early on in drivingdom. I usually was going from one thing to the next, like school to snowboarding, snowboarding to a date, work to kung fu, or whatever. I most recently use this skill when I leave the house hating what I'm wearing, find something else...you get the picture. Key principle: change while driving, not parked. People may see you, but it will be for 2 seconds, "was that girl..." then they move on.

Note to self: do more fun things, less shopping.

I've had a pretty big bed for a lotta time now, but I still sleep in a twin size space. I don't know why, I've just never migrated into the middle. Every once in a while I'll stretch my left leg out there just to check out how wide that space is...it's pretty big, pretty empty. It just hangs out over there. Sometimes I let my laundry pile up on that side to allow some kind of presence occupy that space.

Last summer I was in Wyoming approximately 9658 feet above sea level. I had some seriously funky dreams at that elevation. I was just musing on how much fun I had in one of the most beautiful places on this planet. I would trail run by myself, which I recognize is a really stupid thing to do when Grizzly bears are an ever present threat (I wore a bear bell, which consists of a couple of jingle bells on a sweet velcro band), but running by myself in the wilderness is one of my favorite life experiences to date. I literally almost ran into Moose (in real life Moose are about the size of two horses stacked on top of each other) on three separate occasions while coming around blind corners, I could have been stomped to death...but I made it and can always remember the way the mountain meadow flowers and piney loam smell on a balmy August day.

Thanks, I just needed a brief exhale.

...beep.

Also a blog...

2007-06-21T20:48:00.000-07:00

This was one of my favorite Reading Rainbow episodes. Peggy has been the only person I have ever encountered to know the "teamwork" song. Love it with me, you have to admit these guys have some serious moves.

This is a blog.

2007-06-13T21:07:00.001-07:00

This song rips my heart out. Say it to me now.

Word to your moms, I came to drop bombs...

2007-06-11T18:27:00.001-07:00

Studied all day...
Bomb 1) Took quiz that most likely bombed.
B2) Crashed about 5 frozen pizza's on the floor in domino-like effect at Shaw's.
B3) Thirty seconds later crashed lowered price sign two asiles over while picking up huge cumbersome pack of t.p.
B4) Ninety seconds after that, nearly dumped all contents of shopping bags in race to power unlock my car before said tittering bags dump said contents.
B5) Upon entering my house, laden with afore mentioned shopping bags, wire key ring suddenly becomes unattached and keys fly all over the floor.
...ended up with some kind of clumsy disease, otherwise known as Acquired Klutz Syndrome or AKS. I don't think I'm contagious, and hopefully will be recovering soon. There may be some long term effects, such as tripping over nothing, running into closed doors while trying to open them, and dropping hot objects on exposed skin, other side effects may include running off at the mouth about unimportant subjects, or singing incoherent songs concerning immediate surroundings or events. I'm grateful for your understanding and support at this time.

Note to self:
Don't blog when you've spent nine hours reading and studying Physical Geography.

The Tenth Circle of Hell

2007-05-30T08:21:00.000-07:00

For those who procrastinate the day of their studying, they are encircled by mindless neighbors bent on their destruction. Driveways filled with huge trucks and tree shredders loud enough to pierce the eardrums and hearts of concentrating victims banned to unproductivity. Awakened by cursing construction workers dancing on roof tops, mocking the punishable souls fruitless attempts at information gathering.
Deeper in then the cold lifeless abyss of the ninth circle awaiting the treacherous, this is my home.
oy.

Worth it!

2007-05-28T21:57:00.000-07:00

I love this movie and I love the music. See it, you won't regret it.

Four Foot Inspiration

2007-05-26T21:44:00.000-07:00

Generally after work I put on my don't look at anyone, don't talk to anyone face on my way to my car and try to plow through the lolligagers on Newbury Street. Well, on Friday I passed by someone while in said don't look, don't speak mode, but caught myself, and thank goodness I did. A got a little one person can make a difference lesson.

I backed up to get myself a glass of lemonade from a 10ish year old kid entrepreneur/philanthropist. This kid was outside around 5:30pm on one of the hottest days yet to sell lemonade for a organization called Global Santa (and I can't find a website, so I think he's the founder of this organization). He wasn't holed up in the air conditioned house playing video games, he was braving the balmy heat to raise money for kids, kids just like him in unhappy circumstance all over the world, so they could have Christmas presents. All I can say is not only do I wish I was more like him when I was a kid, I wish I was more like him now. This is the generation that will save the world.
Lemonade.

Could it be?

2007-05-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

Yes.

Marty, Biff, and Doc enjoying a slice of pizza at Santarpio's. You know what this means don't you? World peace is right around the corner people.

Believe it.

The Pillowtalk Tripartite

2007-05-14T12:43:00.000-07:00

After a long day of Sabbath wonders is there anything better than having soggy unfiltered conversation with a couple friends? I can't think of anything that could match, at least nothing within my capacity at this time. Tim, Colleen, and I, each lying on separate sofa's, falling asleep, chatting until one million o'clock in the a.m., loved it.

Hey Rach, what SHOULD you be doing right now?

Studying for my final tomorrow.

Hey Rach, what ARE you doing right now?

Oh, just wasting time, reading blogs and posting a blog that none of my friends will read.

Right.

The Man-Snag Fund

2007-05-10T21:54:00.000-07:00

Today I spotted a perfect dress in the window of one of the stores near my place of employment, and of course was fantasizing about it all day. Finally when I had a moment, and a fabulous friend (if you know what I mean) to shop with I decided I needed to rid myself of my lust by discovering just how much this exquisiteness would set me back. Well, it was a Betsy Johnson, and would set me back approximately 200 clams, (and this from the consignment shop!) so as you would image, I passed.
But said fabulous friend James came up with a perfect idea, the Man-Snag fund. I've told him how all my extended family is keen on getting me hitched, so he thinks they should make donations so I can have Man-Snagging attire. Brilliant.

To Anxious Family:

I would definitely snag a man in the hotness that is Betsy Johnson, so if you would like to donate to my Man-Snag fund, please send check, cash or money order payable to me. Thank you for your support.

Your Loving Relative,
Rachel

Bus Driver From You Know Where...

2007-05-08T19:45:00.000-07:00

So, I'm over at the lovely Julie Hulet's house today and had the experience of a lifetime.
Picture this...we are in my car, waiting at the stoplight right in front of her house and suddenly we hear/see a school bus going about mock 8 around the corner from the frontage road. I really think that it was on two wheels for a minute. We see in the driver seat the quintessential bad A., in a black t-shirt with cut off sleeves, big guy, bald head, goatee. The bus stops tittering, he barley makes the turn without tipping over, and then he barrels on down Park Avenue again at warp speed. No children were hurt or actually on the bus.
Best part about the whole thing...Julie and I were both staring in unbelief at the bus/driver driving by, then we looked at each other (both of our mouths were open and huge eyes) and busted up. I guess he was running a little late. Hilarious!! Crazy bus driver dude, feared by children, despised by suburban mothers, and loved by me.

President Faust

2007-05-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

A brilliant quote from the CES fireside...

"Don't take too much counsel from your fears."

...word.

Before I die...

2007-04-29T22:52:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking a lot about this, and I"m putting together a "things I need to do before I die" list. It started out as 10 things before I die, and it keeps getting bigger. And why not? There are loads of things that I want to do before I die. So...I better get crackin' or hope to live to the ripe old age of 175.

Here are some of mine:

1)Learn how to Surf.
2)Work for the Peace Corp/Red Cross/or something like unto
3)Learn how to, and restore/rebuild an old car. A Porsche Boxster (James Dean Style)
4)Climb the Grand Teton
5)Write a book

I have more...but I can't tell you everything. Does anyone else have a list?

Anyone, anyone???

2007-04-25T08:02:00.000-07:00

we all think about it sometimes...Part 2

2007-04-20T18:06:00.000-07:00

Again, it's my blog...so I don't care.

I need to be kissed.
I know...but I do. It's been too long. The thing is, one would think that this wouldn't be a terribly difficult thing to accomplish, being kissed. One may believe that you can make this happen with little or no effort really, right? I used to have a t-shirt that had a cartoon ugly girl with braces with a quote "kiss me." I had a couple offers when I wore it to Anna's Taqueria.
Well, I seem to have these inherent moral statutes that prohibit me from just kissing anyone who would kiss me back, i.e. crazy Deluca's guy, or the panhandlers, or nicmo's etc. I don't know where it came from. I have to like them, and they have to convince me that they actually like me back. Tricky, very tricky.
Curse my moral statutes...well...okay they're not all that bad.
Essentially, I'm driven by #7 (if you don't know, I'm not going to spoon feed you) to find a nice boy to like, and to be liked in return. So that's what I'm going to do. The end.

we all think about it sometimes.

2007-04-16T22:18:00.000-07:00

Wow, that was a pretty provocative title, unintentional of course. This is an excerpt from a rant on dieting I found in my vault tonight. Please disregard everything that follows, it was a moment of weakness from who knows when, it was just a rant. I do, however, have the same sentiments for gyms, models, and dieting. And it's my blog so I really don't care anyway. I think it's pretty funny.

I don't know why I feel the need to be a stick figure, but I'm going on a diet. [no, I'm not] Okay maybe I do know why, perhaps it's because every form of media bombards society with images of malnourished minors who are scantily clad in nothing but skin and hand bags, and know everything there is to know about seducing a man properly. Then, it is subconsciously drilled into our brains that every man who is straight would only be interested in said waifs in need of a sandwich. Not that I've ever been the kind of girl to conform, well, to pretty much anything, but I've been trained to believe that my chances of winning myself a hot, sexy, mormon boy with a strong testimony and a good sense of humor may significantly increase if the inches around my hips were to decrease. I'm not saying I need to lose a hundred pounds or anything, maybe just 20, okay that's probably too much, maybe 15, okay 12. I would be happy with 12 lbs.
I can't help it, when involved in the fashion industry you just happen to see so many worldly things, and sometimes those things are very appealing. Like being a desirable waif-like person. So it's a diet for me...[ I go on about a lot of nothing, but I'll just skip to my favorite part].
...like all those excessively tan women you see leaving the gym with all their makeup still intact and their designer spandex perfectly caressing their $100 an hour trainer sculpted bodies, a vitamin infused smoothie in one hand, and the keys to a glossy SUV in the other. Well, I would never wear makeup to the gym, and I don't really want to go tanning until I have skin cancer and premature aging, or ever for that matter. Actually, I don't want to go the gym at all, I don't like gym beef boys looking at me as I struggle with those straps and computerized contraptions with no makeup, bad hair, and definitely no spandex to speak of. It seems like I'm always the magnet for that guy, you know the one, in the sweaty tank top who you caught posing in different flex stances in front of the mirror. That guy always tries to "give me a hand" with those devilish weight machines. And it always seems to take at least three resounding no-thank-yous before they walk off shaking their heads, convinced I'm not getting that he was doing the ugly gym girl a favor by trying to make friends. I don't know who invented the tank top for men, but I'm definitely not a fan. Okay, maybe I don't really want to be that perfect girl leaving the gym, because she's not so perfect, and the gym sucks. But I'm going to eat salads and drink vitamin water and love it.

Yeah...I have an SUV. It's not real glossy though. I like me, even when I eat loads of cinnamon rolls.

Chuck and Norris

2007-04-10T21:45:00.000-07:00

This is Chuck >>>>

I went to New York last weekend, my first Fung Wah. Loved it...the bus that is, minus the fung wah grime.
And amid the faux Dolce, Prada, and Chole bags, I found new friends. I grew up with pets, and I've missed an animal presence in my recent life, so now I have turtle buddies. I want them to be happy, so I gave them rad names to start them off right. They just chill in the water gettin' wrinkly. Pretty awesome. Now if I can only get them to start eating...then we'll work on the kung fu.

This is Norris vvvvvv

Gosh...this...is...a...Gem!

2007-04-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

Ladies Love Cool James. I do, I really do. I was forced to read the autobiography of LL Cool J a few years ago, it was a prerequisite for me to talk to a very intimidating co-worker (his rule), I found it...informative. This song is tough. I love it. Wanted to share. Love it with me.

Those abs. Sheesh.

Another favorite man of ultimate coolness/toughness...Bruce Lee, kicking ace to the same wicked awesome song. Take your pick, I can't decide which is better. Hot. Totally hot.

Hello. My name is crazy.

2007-03-29T17:43:00.000-07:00

Yeah you know me, I'm the one who did a full on cheer and spirit fingers for the guy behind the deli counter at Delluca's Market today when he told me he had just enough chicken salad for my sandwich.
You want to know why? I'll tell you. I've been affected by something I like to call the Hierarchy of Biological Needs. It goes a little something like this:

Need 1) Sleep
Need 2) Food
Need 3) Cleanliness
Need 4) Exercise
Need 5) Work
Need 6) Social
Need 7) well, um...we'll skip that one for now since most of us are skipping this anyway

All these needs form a cohesive unit which maintains my sanity. Now, these needs can reconfigure at any time for level of importance, but as you see right now sleep is at the top of my hierarchy. And because I generally exist in a constant state of sleep deprivation, I am seriously koo-koo. Also if you have ever been around me when my blood sugar level is at a dangerous low, you know that my other personality, I like to call her Reagan (from the exorcist), comes out. So really one and two are my essentials, the rest can either be there or not. It's really the combinations met that determine my ability to control myself. Like a 4, 3, 5, 2, with a little 1, is okay I'm tolerable but the filter is off. A 5, 6, 4, with no 2, or 1, that's getting dangerous. Perfect day: 1, 1, 7, 2, 4, 3, 5, 6, 1, with some more 7 in there somewhere; yeah.
So when my combo's are totally imbalanced I start getting a little crazy. I know a few people have seen it when my eyes glaze over and I say things I shouldn't, or I burst into tears because the stop light is taking too long, and I don't cupcake around my animalistic needs. At these times all I want is to commit myself so I can chill in my pajamas all day, watch movies, sleep, and eat apple sauce, with nothing else to concern me but the four white walls that contain me. Straight jacket optional. It would be hard to eat my applesauce with a straight jacket on...but if it comes in black it might be hot.

What's your perfect day?

This was written with a 5, 3, 2, 5 combo, not the best mind space to be writing a post...but...someone, by the name of J. Hulet, no we'll call her Julie H., subtly hinted that I should update my blog.

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

2007-03-18T21:03:00.000-07:00

The aim is useless without the way.

NASCAR

2007-03-14T23:11:00.000-07:00

You know the driver's just out there, doing his thing. Going real fast, making turns, and all that stuff. Then he comes on in to the pit, and the crew fuels im' up and puts on new tires, blah, blah (I really don't know all that much about it, so I'll blah my way through).
Well, I'm really grateful for my pit crew. They fuel me up, and tighten my lug nuts, stop giggling , I said nuts, what are you in 5th grade?...oh wait that's me. Anyway, I'm just lucky I reckon'. There's a lot of places I could really jack up my ride, you know, and, well, it's just great having a good crew in yer pit. Thanks team.

Disclaimer: It's 2:30am. Don't judge me.

ca. 1994

2007-03-10T08:10:00.000-08:00

So, I was disclosing a story from my drill team days the other night and I was encouraged to blog about it...so here goes.
In Utah the 24th of July brings small town parades of high school bands, student body officers, cheerleaders, and drill teams out to celebrate "Pioneer Day." Well, it just so happened that every summer the drill team rivalry was the same, and to evoke a more emotional response please liken the familiar sting of the Yankee/Red Sox relationship to my experience. Woods Cross, my school, was on the West side, a little on the poorer side, and known only for Soccer and the copious amounts of pot smokers. Bountiful, East side snobbery, known for their football team that would generally win region, and drill team that would often win state, fancy cars etc. Keep in mind I lived within Bountiful High School boundaries, but chose to attend Woods Cross on principle, my youthful brain didn't take into account that the academic program at Bountiful was superior. Anyway...back to the parade.
Summer 1994 , my lady cats and I looked on in jealous awe at the annual spectacle before us, Bountiful's drill team, the Mandonelles, always did the same thing. They never had to change their Day's of 47 routine because...it was fabulous. In the 2 mile route down Main Street B-town they always seemed to be before us in parade order, and we were always behind them on multiple levels. We were the Chatelles, and we weren't a bad team, we just weren't as well funded, and therefore...well you get the picture. Every year the Mandonelles would ride unicycles in formation in beautiful little black sparkly halter dance dresses. They would turn in absolute harmony, they would weave in and out of each other; perfectly synchronised they would perform their arm routine. Sigh...it was glorious. I MEAN THEY WERE ALL GORGEOUS AND ON UNICYCLES!!
How could the Chatelles compete with this?? Could we possibly come up with a competitive edge? We couldn't afford unicycles, and that would be a lame cover, what could we do...pogo sticks? Well, we didn't. We had three year old crap fabric dance costumes, and windbreaker flags rigged on PVC pipe. We had spray painted nude tennis shoes, we had bad advisers (just the year I was on the team), and we didn't have to weigh in every practice, so we were, I don't know, normal. It was degrading to say the least. We did our best to power through with our red lipped smiles, and our incessant high kicks, trudging along we followed in the wake of glam. But we all knew that when you're after the unicycles everybody was more interested in their cotton candy than the parade and the second rate costumes from the West side school. Wow, I guess I was really affected. Good times.

You guys, you guys...

2007-03-01T13:49:00.000-08:00

Panhandlers think I'm BEAUTIFUL!!! Yessssss............

Smat Kids

2007-02-26T20:15:00.000-08:00

Tonight Mary, Peggy, and I were discussing pros and cons to homeschooling etc. Interesting discussion, which is not the purpose of me breaking my fun fast in lieu of studying, It just got me thinking about kids. How they can do anything, be anything they want as long as they have the opportunity.
So, I have a question...
Is it wrong for me to want my kids to be astronauts?

Bossy Pants

2007-02-23T17:28:00.000-08:00

I love my job. Not only do I get to help people feel good about themselves, I also get to work with some of the coolest people in Boston.
David Forest Thompson for instance, my boss. A fact which he will often remind me of after doing something ridiculously funny, "I'm Your Boss!" Things like putting a tea strainer on his nose, or doing the perfect cheer herkie, or lapping water out of a cup like a dog and then throwing it in the air and all over the floor. Of course any phrase ending in "poo," or "whore" is classic.

In our downtime of saving the world one head at a time he shares you tube delights, prints images of plumbers bums, and Bugs Bunny in a dress. Since not everyone can have as much fun at work as me, I thought I would share some of the recent hilarity's.

Tell me that isn't funny. C'mon!

The girl flying off the balance beam, I couldn't stop laughing at this one, I think a few tears were shed. So David freeze framed her, printed, and then built a paper stand-up for me so I can see her mid air anytime and smile. Mean are we, but you must admit, he's pretty crafty.

Bugs Bunny in drag, always a favorite.

I hope this has been entertaining, thanks for sharing a piece of my life. HA!

David's twin brother Stuart.

It's Late

2007-02-21T21:07:00.001-08:00

"As soon as we are fully conscious we discover loneliness. We need others physically, emotionally, intellectually; we need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves." C.S. Lewis

Captain's Log 10426

2007-02-16T20:21:00.000-08:00

Stardate 01.28.2007; 11:22am : Decide I'm freezing, every part of me is going cold, and I need to get out of this immediate universe.
11:25am: Purchase plane ticket to Phoenix Arizona to visit my brunette clone bff.

Stardate 02.13.2007; 4:35pm: Pedicure, shopping, and 70 degrees. Loving my life, my friend, and my toes.

Stardate 02.14.2007; 12:35pm: Discover all flights due East are canceled because of weather. I have the black plague and could be dying, happy about flight being canceled. Two extra days of warm.

Stardate 02.16.2007; 6:35am: Arrive at Logan International after enduring sleepless red eye flight next to space hog girl. Breath seen exiting the plane, cold air filling the lungs.
9:30am: Chisel car out of the ice chrysalis that it's hibernating in.
10:00am-6:00pm: Work A off all day without sleep and with remnants of said plague.
6:29pm: Walk across the Boston sidewalk ice version of the sea of tranquility. Forging ahead to our sought destination, Colleen and I verses the wind blasts of death screaming at the top of our lungs, or as loud as our diseased throats would allow.
6:34pm: Arrive at Santarpio's Pizzeria in East bean with sherpa. Eat best pizza in the world amid the most Italian men ever, gawking and objectifying. Vincenzo the Norm of Santarpio's, Lefty the bartender, and Anthony our missionary experience. Priceless.
11:20pm: Still not asleep. Made a me doll. I love that I'm home.

Tribute To My Youth...

2007-02-09T07:20:00.000-08:00

I love Thriller. I used to beg my parents to rent the VHS with the behind the scenes section. I freakin' ate that crap up. Anyway, I had a pretty creepy zombie dream last night and so I've decided to share a bit of it with the blogging world. Enjoy.

And of course the original and best. Friends, please tell me you're in when I ask if we can learn this dance and spontaneously break into formation at the next munch and mingle...or something.

Stapling My Guts On The Outside.

2007-02-05T08:46:00.000-08:00

I'm not really good at hiding what's going on inside of me. Thank you to all that endure my spastic nature when I'm wearing my entrails as a new sun dress. And sorry to those I'm mean to when I can't pretend to adore you.

A Day of Happy Happenings

2007-02-01T20:44:00.000-08:00

I woke up late this morning after SLEEPING through the entire night (without narcotics) snuggled into my delicious bed, cradled by my new 1000 thread count sheets...bliss. Still made it to work on time, minus the ten minutes I was late (that doesn't really count).

Not washing my hair for an undiscolsable amount of days and still feeling like it's cute enough to go to work on Newbury Street. If you really want to know, I'll tell you...sick, but okay.

Found a much coveted parking place on Exeter Street where the meters have been sawed off to be replaced by...well I don't know, and frankly don't care. No meter, no quarters, no moving every two hours, no time limit, no ticket, no continuing building my animosity for meter persons, one less sinful thought. I won the parking lottery.

My favorite sandwich on Newbury is available at Deluca's Market for $6. Chicken salad with cranberries and walnuts on delectable seven grain bread. Comes with a smile from the deli, and a flirty cashier dude who stares at me in a way that makes me uncomfortable and flattered at the same time. Today's bonus: the deli guy gave me a half sand discount because I'm there all the time. Yes, please!

Rick Harrington gave me an "apostolic" blessing. He "prophetized" ("prophesied Rick?"). "I prophetize and bless you that you will be busy and successful here and you'll have a lot of clients, it will take some time, and you'll use your abundance to benefit the church. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit" (making the sign of the cross). Blink... blink...thanks...Rick (furrowed brow).

1:30pm: Receive overly complimentary text from Daniel McMurtry concerning his new hair cut. Nice, very, very nice.

Crazy extensions lady: 1) tells me I look skinny (just a trick of the light, and my monochromatic habits), 2) tips me when I was absolutely sure that wouldn't happen. Appreciated...sigh.

Slicing my finger at work...again. Okay, not totally happy, but blood equals life. I'm alive. Yea!

Colleen reminding me that the Best Buy in the Cambridge Side Galleria isn't open right now, saving me a trip there, and a piece of my sanity. Priceless.

Running without my ipod. Very pure.

Now I get to sleep in my sheets again. Smile.

Nerds and Retail Therapy

2007-01-30T20:17:00.000-08:00

Part I

I love school. I love going to the bookstore and paying exorbitant prices for paperbacks. I love buying pens and new notebooks. I love getting syllabi and plotting out my life according to when papers are due. I love those really annoying students that laugh too loud at all the professors jokes, and always have something to add to the discussion (well kind of love/hate them). I love outlining what I learned from reading assignments. I love highlighters. Love it! Yea, for class! I'm a total nerd...but sublimely happy.

Part II

There really is nothing like a new pair of sexy shoes. They are empowering on so many levels. They can help you send the sassy text, walk in front of that guy with the switch, and give you the confidence to get through the day with a tormented mind. Shoes are the best, but bags, and perfect jeans can do the trick too. Sigh...can it get any better than this? Hmm...

An anticlimactic ending...

2007-01-25T22:25:00.000-08:00

(Drum roll)

All eyes are still fixed on the girl in the spotlight, hands raised, ready to applaud; she is almost to the other side. She carefully places one foot in front of the other until finally her right foot lands on solid platform, then the left. She rips the blindfold off and raises both hands in the air.

(Drums and Horns: TA DA!!!)

The audience erupts with an approving standing ovation and shouts of praise as she takes her bows from high above.

Ring Leader: Yes, yes...isn't she marvelous?! Thank you ladies and gentlemen...an incredible feat accomplished!! Now for the next act...

The spotlight shifts and the Amazing Rachelli is left at the top of platform in the dark, the audience lost.

The End.

Rad X 2

2007-01-21T23:46:00.000-08:00

I'm not telling where this came from. Do you see what I see?

And a most entertaining Saturday night activity:

And I Quote...

2007-01-19T17:40:00.000-08:00

"You might win some, but you just lost one." Lauryn Hill

Shout Out

2007-01-12T15:55:00.001-08:00

to the foxy latino man on the street who I thought was going to yell at me but actually helped me back into an itty bitty parking spot, without tapping anyone...thanks! you reminded me there is still a bit of human decency left in the world...even in the commonwealth of massachusetts.

Yes, I'll have the pears ganache with ice cream and wine reduction

2007-01-09T15:29:00.000-08:00

Ah, to dine. Food, I think, is one of the best reasons for living. There are so many options to fill the immanent want that it can be difficult to settle on one thing. Have you ever looked over a menu at least 21 times because everything sounds perfect? I feel that I'm a pretty good order' but sometimes I end up with pan seared Ahi, and it's just not hitting the spot, or any spot for that matter.
But what if we only had one chance; one meal? What would we choose then?
I think most of us would start with a great appetizer like wings, artichoke dip, or chips and salsa to take the edge off our hunger and excite our taste buds for the real stuff. Then we would fill our plates with savory nosh meant to satisfy with color, texture, and taste. Maybe we would choose by the brief description on the menu that sounds soo appetizing but may not be what our guts tell us we want. Let's assume that we are true to ourselves even if that means we want mac and cheese. Then, when the plate is clean what would we crave? What would fill us with complete satisfaction? Dessert anyone?
Some would argue that dessert should be enjoyed first, just jump right in. But if you only have one chance, why would you jeopardize your appetite by indulging in dessert before you have tasted the amazing dinner that is offered to you. Also, you run the risk of crossing a masterful chef who has slaved over your supper. If you were to have dessert before dinner you wouldn't truly be full and you haven't experienced genuine nourishment. Essentially you've spoiled your dinner. The instant gratification of taking dessert first is not lasting, the sugar where's out and your left empty, still needing sustenance. The greatness of dessert is wasted in impatience. So let's not ruin it.
Back to our meal. your plate is before you. The Carb side: rice, pasta, bread. Not terribly exciting, if it's made well it can have some flavor, but for the most part it's just something to chew on. Store up that energy. The Veggie: green beans, salad, broccoli. It's healthy, crisp, but let's be honest, it's not that substantial, and it's not that good unless it's smothered in something that we really shouldn't be too fervently indulgent, like butter or cheese. Still we are left wanting. The Protein: steak, chicken, fish, (sorry, I'm not catering to the vegan's out there). This takes some time to get through, filling, engaging, there is some kind of comfort in it, and maybe it's a bit rare. Surely a notable element of the spread.
Now you can sit back and bask in the wealth of full. Okay, great meal; tasty, interesting, balanced. We made good choices to benefit our body, we have explored our unique taste and have come out better for it. Could there be something else? Are you finished?
Not me. I want dessert.
Does dessert ever get lonely waiting there for all those other inferior foods to be enjoyed and digested? Is dessert envious of the crispy salad, the zesty pasta, or the juicy steak? I think not.
Dessert is decadence. Dessert is sweet and rich, the pinnacle. It is completeness. Without doubt I would say dessert deepens the joy of a well crafted meal. And if we are talking the only meal, then dessert should most definitely be a part. It is the finish line, and is patient as such. Dessert is the essence of perfect timing, giving all it has to make one satisfyingly whole. Dessert has many forms, but generally has taken great care and time to become what it is. It is the goodnight kiss.
What am I saying? Dinner isn't over, save room for dessert.

To the bane of my Boston existance...

2007-01-05T16:12:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm talking to you, the army of meter persons stalking the city's public streets. I see you there, armed with that flaming orange un-rippable, waterproof paper and your unsympathetic, uncreative, pathetically cruel excuse for justice. That smug look of bloated self importance on your face. The BDT patch of authority. What do you do, really? You ruin people's lives. Because you are life ruiner's. Actually, I won't give you that much credit...hour ruiner's at most.
You spend your days skulking behind dumpsters and down dark alley's waiting to pounce. And for what? What satisfaction do you glean from monitoring the only Utah license on the street. Pretty easy target I'm sure...but I guess I can't blame you for your lack of imagination or interest in a more fulfilling pursuit.
I filled the meter!!! Sorry, I don't move my car three spaces up every two hours!!! I was busy...working...at a job that I actually like. Nevertheless you will not defeat me, I will prevail. I will move my car with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. From this day forward I will be ahead of your fiendish game, I will laugh in the face of day glow violations. It's only money after all, but you have sold your souls...what happened to your childhood dreams of becoming professional ice skaters, astronauts, or paleontologists? Sad. Okay, maybe I've gone too far...maybe. Dirty jackals.

Of Guts And Glory

2007-01-04T18:01:00.000-08:00

Today I was asked if there was anything in my life that I would do differently had I the chance. After an honest reflection, I said not really. I think I could have lived without falling in love with approximately two men, but still those experiences have shaped me for who I am, better or worse. Coincidentally I pulled a very fitting fortune out of a cookie today: "The best men are molded of their faults." I would dare say this applies to women as well. Over all, I'm quite happy with my unconventional and unscripted life.
But with this review of things Rachel, I came to the conclusion that I often use masochistic phrasing when driving my point home. This came to my attention as I found myself using such phrasing just a tad more than usual today. For example, "If you don't turn off that Celine Dion I'm going to jump out the window." I also have a affinity for I'd rather's, such as "I'd rather poke my eye out with a fork," or "I'd rather sever my big toe," and my favorite "I'd rather shoot myself in the knee." I don't know where I developed my fondness for gore, somehow I feel that I must be explicit in my dislike of a situation. Maybe I shouldn't read Dante. Anyhow...I'm sorry if I offend, especially for my flippant use of verbal exploration in suicidal outlets.
I guess what I'm getting at is this: despite my weirdness, and semi-unaccomplished self, I like me. And I like that I don't park well, and that I eat carbs, and I don't really care. What? That's all.

Must Love Cheese

2006-12-31T21:58:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve 2006 was the best! Here are some highlight quotes as we (Peggy, Julie, and I) spent most of the day in the Mt. Auburn Hospital's ER, and then on to a movie.

"I had a dream that I was in a dating service and I was explaining that my match would have to love all kinds of cheese, like Gouda, blue , Havarti, Gorgonzola, Brie etc. Totally weird." -me
"A new movie, Must Love Cheese."-Julie

"You never forget your first kiss..."-KISS fragrance advertisement
"What?! Does it smell like body odor and bong resin?"-Peggy

"Do you have SARS?"-me after walking in and seeing Peggy as the only one in the ER waiting room with a face mask

"You know you're going to pay for that later...wearing those pointy, tall shoes."-Patricia the Nurse noticing my fabulous boots

"Do you ever look at people and want to fix them?"-Julie

"You mean I get all these great Funk classics on just One Compact DISC?"-Julie

"You get a urine on her? Oh, okay!!"-some random dude just outside the curtain

"Could that really be my breath? That is rancid...it has to be some thing with this mask...my breath has never smelled that way...does yours smell funky?...I'm never getting kissed."-me

"That's really nice, but he's not a nurse...I am. The IV needs to be fast."-Patricia the Nurse/Nazi's disapproval of the X-ray tech messing with Peg's IV.

"I love watching when they first put the tubes on while they draw blood, it gushes in."-Julie
"I freakin' love rainbow snow's tiger's blood."-me

"What's Excedrin?"-Doctor Dan Tang (the woman)

"Ew...it's getting stuck on my IV...help me...Ew, Ew."-Peggy

"I'm about ready to stretch out on Peggy's bed...wouldn't it be funny if she came back and we were spooning?"-Julie

"Don't look at my pee...Don't."-Peggy

"What are you eating? Shoot."-Peggy figuring out what she would say if we were caught feeding her chocolate

"Guys...I met the real doctor..."-Peggy
"The REAL doctor?"-me
"Dan's just a resident, she's not there yet."-Peggy

"I need a drink, but all I have is this two dollar bill in my pocket."-Julie

"He's cute, kind of like Jimmy on Superman."-Peggy

"Give me a back massage while I'm sitting on your bed..."-me...joking with the invalid
"Not with my IV."-Peggy too serious and too drugged

"Toughen up girls...get dressed, I'll be back."-Patricia the Nazi

"How can you be hitting on me at a time like this..."-Julie on the N./X-ray incident

"She hates me...I try to be cute and adorable..."-Peggy referring to the Nazi
"And she's like 'whatever I saw you eat that chocolate orange.'"-me

"Like he really cares about you that much you dramatic biotch!"-me talking about a song
"Are you talking to me?"-my dad who answered the phone right as I said that

"When I get to the movie theater, I'm going to undo my pants."-Peggy

I hope you enjoyed these gems as much as I did. Hoorah 2007!!!

Back at the High Wire

2006-12-27T19:53:00.001-08:00

(Drum roll)

(All eyes are fixed on the performer who has successfully, and gracefully inched her way to the middle of the wire, but here she pauses.)

The Amazing Rachelli's Inner Dialogue: Wait a minute...What am I doing?! How did I get here?! I'm terrified of heights! I CAN'T SEE!! Stupid!!

(Her knees begin to bend and the balance bar sways in such a way that she must let go to keep herself on the wire. The bar falls to the floor below with a reverberating bang. The crowd shrieks, and a baby begins to cry.)

Okay, okay...deep breath, straighten up, arms out.

(She regains her balance as she stretches her arms out from her sides.)

I don't know exactly how I got here, but I'm the one who climbed the ladder to the platform. I'm the one who put the blindfold over my eyes. I'm the one who took these steps over the abyss. Now I only have three choices...I can go back, I can go forward, or I can fall off the wire. I only know that it took me 25 steps to get here, I don't know how many steps I have to take to get to the other platform. I can't turn around...and going backwards would be more difficult than taking steps forward. I refuse to fall. Okay...forward then. Heel, toe, poise, heel, toe, control, heel, toe, breathe.

(Drum roll continues, the audience exhales as she slowly moves forward.)

TO BE CONTINUED...

I know you know I know, but I don't know what you know you know.

2006-12-27T19:29:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the random and bizarre circus that is me...

Ring Leader: Laaydees and Gentallmen...may I have your attention please...for this next act I ask you to direct your eyes skyward....

(Spotlight hits a girl in a fabulous sparkly costume at the top of a very high tower.)

Tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen the Amazing Rachelli will perform a feat as never before seen.

(Girl in sparkly costume smiles and waves.)

Yes...Tonight...the Amazing Rachelli will attempt to cross the high wire that is situated 150 feet above your heads...without the aid of a safety net.

(Drum roll)

But that is not all folks...please be advised, what you are about to see is not for the faint of heart...for not only will she be crossing the monstrous gap on a very thin wire without a safety net...she will also be...blindfolded!

(Drum roll continues, a horrified gasp comes from the audience, the girl holds up a black satin handkerchief and ties it around her head covering her eyes.)

Now folks, I will ask you to keep your eyes fixed and your fingers crossed, and your prayers silent so that the Amazing Rachelli may fully concentrate...

(Drum roll continues, she picks up the balancing bar and moves forward to the edge of the platform, first step...heel, then toe. The audience holds their breath.)

TO BE CONTINUED...

Santa Claus

2006-12-25T11:39:00.000-08:00

I don't know how this hasn't happened before, but I witnessed my first Santa visit last night. I sat gazing down at the whole thing from my perch at the top of the stairs. Even though I'm old enough to participate in the drop, I still feel like I don't quite belong. So, I played sentinel on the lookout for rousing children. I felt spoiled in a way...watching the magic unfold filled me with the excitement of Christmas, but something was lost at the same time. All the while I was nervous some Cindy Lou Who would wake up and catch us, and that would just be bad.
I decided this is kind of like life...great things are happening all the time unbeknownst to us, while we are dreaming of sugar plums. There is excitement and anticipation and hope for all the things we want, but if we try to break in too soon to what's coming to us we'll blow the whole thing. It's all about timing. Santa knows a thing or two about that...he knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake bit. Hmm...thanks for the life lesson Santa.

New Base Camp; 44° 38' 124° 03'

2006-12-24T18:26:00.000-08:00

I'm guessing it's strange for any person when their parents move from the house they grew up in to a totally new place, it definitely is strange for me. But the new place has my official stamp of approval, despite the 8 hour plane ride (not including lay-overs), and the 2 hour drive to the town, it's gorgeous! My parents now live in a vacation town, I've seen real live sea lions and whales...totally rad. This is way more fun than the old homestead.
I must admit I will miss the land Bountiful for nostalgic reasons, but I'm learning that there comes a time in your life when you make your own home. That's bean-town for me. The traffic, the parking tickets, the stink, the taxis, the harbor, Storrow and Mem drive, my favorite pan-handlers on Newbury, the Red Sox of course, love it, love it, love it. So, I guess I'm okay with my parents packing up and discarding their previous life because I don't really belong there anymore anyway. I've made myself a home of my own.

be gentle it's my first time.

2006-12-19T07:50:00.000-08:00

So, I've decided to join the human race circa 2006. Thank you to my sweet Sherpa who has made this all possible. Now if we could just get a couple of good yaks.
Who invented paisley anyway, and why?